The Sarah Who Hates James Franco Talks to the Sarah Who Loves James Franco

Hate:

So, I’m going to get right to it:  Why do you love that crazy bastard?

 

Love:

I think people make the mistake of thinking I’m a legit fan of his.  Let me ask you this:  Do you love Big Trouble in Little China?

 

Hate:

Definitely.

 

Love:

Why?  Because it’s a good piece of art?

 

Hate:

No, it’s terrible, but I love it!

 

Love:

Exactly.  It’s not going to win an Oscar, but it’s goofy, over the top, and fun to watch.  That is exactly why I love James Franco.

 

Hate:

Right, but watching Big Trouble in Little China doesn’t hurt anyone, whereas giving James Franco more attention just encourages him to be more of a douchebag.

 

Love:

I thought about that before we started this site.  Eventually I decided that he’s going to continue being an ass – posting half naked pics of himself, writing shitty poetry and using grant funding to get it published,1)I shit you not, Directing Herbert White was funded by grants from the Minnesota State Arts Board and Target(yes, that Target), among others according to the lovely copyright page in the front of the book.  Don’t you just feel angry now? holding “art” exhibitions in the name of spreading awareness about art when it’s really about his ego, and so on – whether I make fun of his poetry or not.  So I might as well use my own art to take him down a peg, even if it barely makes an impact.

 

Hate:

That’s the point of satire.

 

Love:

Yes, I love satire.  It gives power to the powerless, voice to the voiceless, and nobody is immune to it.

 

Hate:

Let’s talk about his ego for a moment.  It’s why I hate him.  Why does he have to do everything mediocre when he could do just acting fairly well?

 

Love:

Yeah, and it’s why I love him.  He’s a lot like us.  Think about it.  How long have we dreamed of having a novel published?  Or having a short story in a magazine?

 

Hate:

Our whole lives.

 

Love:

Right.  So imagine if we had some kind of power – celebrity, money, connections – that would let us skip all the hard work and just magic that novel into being?

 

Hate:

It wouldn’t be the same as a book we worked hard on.

 

Love:

I agree, it wouldn’t.  But it is tempting, isn’t it?  Now imagine that we’re surrounded by people who tell us that it’s not because of celebrity/money/connections, it’s because we’re really good authors and this is a really good book.

 

Hate:

It gets harder to say no.

 

Love:

Almost impossibly hard.  My point is, when you want something very bad, it gets hard to avoid the temptation to get it the easy way, even if we know that getting it the easy way renders the victory completely meaningless.

 

Hate:

But you need to resist that temptation.

 

Love:

Everything worth doing is difficult.  That’s actually why I like writing, and why I love Editor Sarah.  She’s beautifully ruthless.

 

Hate:

She does take a kind of sadistic pleasure in cutting lines.

 

Love:

But we didn’t always have her.  We developed her over years of hard work.  If we’d gone the Franco way, she might not even exist.

 

Hate:

That’s kind of sad.  Are you trying to make me feel bad for Franco, now?

 

Love:

No.  He made his own bed, and besides, we all have our own individual struggles.  But maybe that’s another reason why I love him.  He’s us if we never committed ourselves to one kind of art.

 

Hate:

There but for the grace of God go we.

 

Love:

Exactly.

 

Hate:

I’m confused.  Do we hate him or love him?

 

Love:

Both.

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1. I shit you not, Directing Herbert White was funded by grants from the Minnesota State Arts Board and Target(yes, that Target), among others according to the lovely copyright page in the front of the book.  Don’t you just feel angry now?

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