Book Release!

I’m excited to announce that Directing Herbert West: A Book of Poetry Without James Franco is now available for purchase on Amazon, a week earlier than expected!  For the cost of a Starbucks you can now own not-Franco poetry that you can access anywhere, even offline, and the book features several poems that were never published online or performed on stage.  New content!

Check it out here: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B01CTKR6W8/

Thanks to Irenka Carney for her amazing cover art.  They say that you can only get 20% or so of a creative idea out into the real world, but Renny has managed to get 120% of what I imagined for this cover into a drawing.  Check out her website at http://broad-studio.com/  She’s a hard-working professional, and I would work with her again in a heartbeat.

Herbert West Cover

Book Release – March 21, 2016

I am excited to announce that I will be releasing a collection of not-Franco poetry as an eBook for Amazon Kindle on March 21!  Directing Herbert West will include poetry from the website in addition to new poems exclusive to the eBook. 

The talented Irenka Carney, who designed the poster for An Evening of Comedy Without James Franco, is providing cover art.  I’ve seen what she’s working on, and I’m pleased to say that the cover art does a good job of addressing the themes of my Franco poetry parody while also hinting at some of the new twists I’m working on for the book.  Check out her website at http://broad-studio.com/

Keep an eye on this website and Twitter (@sarahceliann) for more info, including price and cover art reveal!

The Sarah Who Hates James Franco Talks to the Sarah Who Loves James Franco

Hate:

So, I’m going to get right to it:  Why do you love that crazy bastard?

 

Love:

I think people make the mistake of thinking I’m a legit fan of his.  Let me ask you this:  Do you love Big Trouble in Little China?

 

Hate:

Definitely.

 

Love:

Why?  Because it’s a good piece of art?

 

Hate:

No, it’s terrible, but I love it!

 

Love:

Exactly.  It’s not going to win an Oscar, but it’s goofy, over the top, and fun to watch.  That is exactly why I love James Franco.

 

Hate:

Right, but watching Big Trouble in Little China doesn’t hurt anyone, whereas giving James Franco more attention just encourages him to be more of a douchebag.

 

Love:

I thought about that before we started this site.  Eventually I decided that he’s going to continue being an ass – posting half naked pics of himself, writing shitty poetry and using grant funding to get it published,1)I shit you not, Directing Herbert White was funded by grants from the Minnesota State Arts Board and Target(yes, that Target), among others according to the lovely copyright page in the front of the book.  Don’t you just feel angry now? holding “art” exhibitions in the name of spreading awareness about art when it’s really about his ego, and so on – whether I make fun of his poetry or not.  So I might as well use my own art to take him down a peg, even if it barely makes an impact.

 

Hate:

That’s the point of satire.

 

Love:

Yes, I love satire.  It gives power to the powerless, voice to the voiceless, and nobody is immune to it.

 

Hate:

Let’s talk about his ego for a moment.  It’s why I hate him.  Why does he have to do everything mediocre when he could do just acting fairly well?

 

Love:

Yeah, and it’s why I love him.  He’s a lot like us.  Think about it.  How long have we dreamed of having a novel published?  Or having a short story in a magazine?

 

Hate:

Our whole lives.

 

Love:

Right.  So imagine if we had some kind of power – celebrity, money, connections – that would let us skip all the hard work and just magic that novel into being?

 

Hate:

It wouldn’t be the same as a book we worked hard on.

 

Love:

I agree, it wouldn’t.  But it is tempting, isn’t it?  Now imagine that we’re surrounded by people who tell us that it’s not because of celebrity/money/connections, it’s because we’re really good authors and this is a really good book.

 

Hate:

It gets harder to say no.

 

Love:

Almost impossibly hard.  My point is, when you want something very bad, it gets hard to avoid the temptation to get it the easy way, even if we know that getting it the easy way renders the victory completely meaningless.

 

Hate:

But you need to resist that temptation.

 

Love:

Everything worth doing is difficult.  That’s actually why I like writing, and why I love Editor Sarah.  She’s beautifully ruthless.

 

Hate:

She does take a kind of sadistic pleasure in cutting lines.

 

Love:

But we didn’t always have her.  We developed her over years of hard work.  If we’d gone the Franco way, she might not even exist.

 

Hate:

That’s kind of sad.  Are you trying to make me feel bad for Franco, now?

 

Love:

No.  He made his own bed, and besides, we all have our own individual struggles.  But maybe that’s another reason why I love him.  He’s us if we never committed ourselves to one kind of art.

 

Hate:

There but for the grace of God go we.

 

Love:

Exactly.

 

Hate:

I’m confused.  Do we hate him or love him?

 

Love:

Both.

   [ + ]

1. I shit you not, Directing Herbert White was funded by grants from the Minnesota State Arts Board and Target(yes, that Target), among others according to the lovely copyright page in the front of the book.  Don’t you just feel angry now?

What Is This?

This is a collection of poetry that parodies James Franco’s poetry.  Simple, no?  I think the better question is, why did I make this?

Lots of reasons.  I’ll go more in depth on each of them in later posts, but here’s an overview:

– The obvious:  Franco’s poetry isn’t the best in the world 1)It’s not the worst either, but that’s a different can of worms, and I thought it would be a good target for parody/satire.
– I wanted to prove that if James Franco can write poetry, so can I.  So can you.  So can anyone.  We are all creative beings, and we can all create art.
– I wanted to experiment with writing in a voice that was different from my own.  Since I was already doing something I found difficult, I decided to make it even more challenging by picking a medium I almost never write in 2)Poetry and a voice that is very different from my own 3)James Franco, a man a good friend of mine once described as “someone who can’t possibly be a real person.”.  Shoot for the moon, I say.
– I believe art is meant to be engaged with.  Once I got my hands on a copy of Directing Herbert White, I couldn’t just let it sit on my shelf unmolested.  I had to pull it apart, pick out different pieces and put it back together in different ways. And then do all that again with different pieces.
– My favorite way to engage with art is through comedy.  Parody felt like a natural choice.

Some of these will be direct parodies of specific poems.  Others will be more style parodies.  Some of them will be weird experiments.  Some of those experiments will fail.  I’m okay with that.  Some of this is going to be funny.  Some of it won’t.  I’m okay with that, too.

I am not James Franco.  These are not his poems.

I am Sarah Celiann.  I wrote these poems, but they are not mine.

Let’s do this.

   [ + ]

1. It’s not the worst either, but that’s a different can of worms
2. Poetry
3. James Franco, a man a good friend of mine once described as “someone who can’t possibly be a real person.”